What are you afraid of? Spiders? Heights? Public Speaking? We all get scared, and we have different thresholds for what makes us afraid. Some of us enjoy horror films and some quiver at the Doctor Who theme tune.

Whatever it is that scares you, what we can agree on is that fear causes our bodies to react. Hearts pound. Palms sweat. Muscles freeze. Knees shake. When animals are frightened, they freeze on the spot. That’s useful because it might save them from a predator. And while they are frozen to the spot, their body’s hormones and increased heart rate are getting them ready to run for it.

In Children and Young People, fear and anxiety can induce that same frozen state observed in the animal world and when they are in this state, learning will be next to impossible. It’s a significant problem across the nation. According to the NHS, 20% of 8-16 year olds and 23% of 17-19 year olds are affected.

Here, we explore some of the reasons behind anxiety in children and young people. We look at how to recognise and respond to the symptoms; when to involve other people and how to look after your own wellbeing while supporting others.

Safety First

An important starting point is to understand that all behaviour is a form of communication. This is especially true of children and young people. They might worry about friendships, feel a knot in their stomach on their first day at school, or get sweaty palms at exam time. These are normal responses and things we can help with by listening and offering practical coping strategies. However, persistent anxiety is a mental health issue which can be a response to bullying or other forms of abuse. If a child or young person shares worrying thoughts or experiences or if there is a nagging worry about their safety,  concerns must be shared with the Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL)

Recognising signs of anxiety

When they feel comfortable, children and young people will often share their feelings with you. Others will play their cards much closer to their chest. Here are some things you might notice in their behaviour:

• Poor concentration;

• Signs that they are tired;

• Irritability;

• Not wanting to do things that used to be fun;

• Being negative or angry

How to respond

Assuming the issues are not persistent or overly concerning, here are some strategies to support them- starting with listening.

When they share, really listen. Don’t interrupt, judge, or assume. Let them speak at their own pace. Show you’re listening by nodding or repeating what they say. If talking feels too much, suggest they write it down in a text or on paper so they can take their time.

After talking to you, they might feel like they’ve overshared or said the wrong thing. Let them know they’ve done the right thing by speaking up. You could say, ‘I’m glad you told me’, or ‘it’s okay to feel that way, that sounds really tough’.

Just sitting with them shows you’re there. It doesn’t take much – just being present shows you care. After opening up, they might worry you’ll pull away, so little gestures remind them you’re still friends and nothing’s changed.

If they share something personal and worrying, like they’re unsafe, being hurt, self-harming or having thoughts about ending their life, they might want you to promise not to tell anyone, but their safety comes first.

If you’re concerned, talk to the Designated Safeguarding Lead ( DSL). Let the young person know you need to tell someone to help them get the support they need. They might find it hard at first, but they’ll understand you’re doing it to help them.

Looking after yourself

Supporting others can be emotionally demanding. You might feel anxious or stressed about what has been shared. Your feelings are valid too and it’s important to look after your mental health. Besides, you can’t help others if you’re running on empty. Everyone has their own stuff going on, and sometimes it’s better for someone else to take on the supporting role. Be honest about how you’re feeling – try saying, ‘thank you for sharing this with me, but I’m finding things tough right now. Try talking with your teacher.’ You might feel guilty, but saying no doesn’t make you wrong.